Waiting

To be honest there have been days when for no apparent reasons I have woke up struggling with a sense of spiritual depression, feeling unable to pray, and even bigger failure for feeling that way as I am a leader and supposed to be strong and always able help and encourage others.

On one such day last week on my usual prayer walk and looked up in the sky and saw two  buzzards. They were incredible it was a bright sunny morning and you could see for miles. I noticed that they never flapped a wing they just spread them out and rode the thermal updraft of hot air which carried them high into the sky, then suddenly in an instant they caught the wind and were carried without so much as a flap half way across Mansfield. In the same day someone sent me an encouragement via text, it was Isaiah 40 v31 but those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. I felt encouraged and lifted, as I read that verse because it’s not about depending on my own strengths physically, emotionally or spiritually, but that I could access God’s strength and all I had to do was to wait on the Lord to receive it.

In our bible reading today the disciples were told by Jesus to wait until they received the Holy Spirit but the call and task was so big, they could not do it in their own strength. I have been thinking deeply about what it means to wait on the Lord. We might assume that waiting on the Lord is like waiting a queue at a supermarket to get your shopping where is feels like wasted time and a bit boring when you just want to get your shopping done and get on with something far more interesting.  But it’s more like waiting for a ride at Alton Towers theme park where we wait for a long time growing in anticipation of the exhilarating ride to come, whilst wondering what’s ahead after seeing all the danger notices if you have any health conditions. Its far more active and riskier!

Waiting on the Lord involves giving yourself into God hands for Him to search deeply into you, and for you to go deeper into who He is.  It can be painful as God points out things to change, but it brings us to place of SURRENDER and BROKENESS where we simply cast ourselves onto full reliance on Him, and commit to go his way not ours. I’m sure in all the things Jesus has been teaching me through this lockdown this is the most significant.

As I reflect on the buzzards, I see now they did not strive (flap) they simply surrendered by opening wide their wings, into the upward drafts of hot air and were carried higher and further than any of their own flapping efforts. I know I would do well to stop my flapping of self-reliance, and learn to surrender to Jesus more and catch the upward and forward movements of the Holy Spirit that are so worth waiting for.

So, let’s stop Flapping and learn how to wait for God’s timing and fly with him to where He would have us be which will immeasurably more than where we are now.